Coping up after Job Rejection

I am an international graduate that migrated in US way back 2012 and I've always been dreaming of continuing my dreams and be able to practice nursing again. I've been thru a lot of rejection in the past. But yesterday was the most painful one.

I am writing so I can put all my emotions in here and help myself from falling apart.

It's been 5 years since the last time I practiced in the nursing field. It wasn't my choice to stop and be away from field for that long. being an international graduate, there was a lot of obstacles before I was finally able to take my NCLEX. and so last year, I was able to pass my NCLEX for LVN in California and my NCLEX-RN for New York.

I am a big dreamer so I decided to give it a try in leaving California and go to New York to be able to practice as a Registered Nurse. I was full of hope and very grateful when a hospital in upstate New York accepted me and gave me an offer.

I left my job as a school nurse, wellness nurse and caregiving job in order to move to New York and give it a shot in this hospital. I was ready and I prepared myself in staying for over 3 years even if I get a smaller Salary. I signed for a 3 year contract for an apartment as I planned of enhancing my skills in that hospital and get into a specialty. I gave up my relationship, I invested money and time and so last month, started to work and get into the orientation phase.

I was very much overwhelmed. New environment, New people, New machineries. I thought I was doing very well in adapting this new environment until last week I received a call saying that I don't have to work on the coming weekend and I will have a meeting instead on a Monday. I was nervous. I was thinking though that maybe they would want me off orientation phase already. But then that Monday, they said that it was my last day at work already and they decided that maybe I should try to work to a less acute area first. I asked if I did something wrong but they said, I just needed to enhance my skills a little more and be back in the hospital after a year and they let me signed an involuntary termination papers.

I shattered in tears. I feel broke and helpless. My dreams and goals got all ruined. I walked for 5 miles while crying not knowing where to go. I am like a butterfly that's all starting to fly then suddenly somebody cut my wings and I can't move.

a lot of things come to mind specially on how to pay my bills. I am in a place that I'm not familiar. I have no car and there's not much option or place for me to apply that is close to the area. I spend my day crying and not eating, I can't move my body. I do not know what to do.

Then this morning I opened up my face book and saw an article about how Albert Einstein even got rejected. I got inspired by it and read inspirational quotes. I start moving again and decided to walk about 8 miles and drop a resume to a nursing home. I cannot even call a taxi as I was saving my remaining money. Tomorrow I will walk again to another nursing home and I needed all your prayers for me to be able to make it and get accepted to a new job opportunity.

My self-esteem has been lowered and I'm afraid that these nursing homes would not accept me as I was rejected by the hospital. I'm afraid that no one will trust me and so I needed words of encouragement from all of you wonderful nurses! I needed your prayers and I need to put back my self myself confidence and believe that I can survive all of these and show the world how capable I am in becoming a good Nurse!